i eye

aye i stye eye

What I’m Reading:

“Fame is a bucket of eyes.”

— Victoria Chang / “Late Wonders”

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holy pockets full

The Visit

Darkness envelops the visit
from my dead father. He says psychic
automatism betrayed him—the paranoiac
critical debased him. We count

the shadows of ghosts untethered
from the sheets over their heads—
one forgot to cut the eyeholes out—
a blind ghost singing off-key
from a torn hymnal. We cram

communion hosts in our maws—
this batch overcooked / oversalted—
our holy pockets full then empty. We wade

ankle deep in wafers to the vestry.
It’s snowing outside. We sink through
the floor. We forget what we’ve forgotten.

What I’m Reading:

“If Justice Alito wants you to be governed by the laws of the 17th century, you should take a close look at that century. Is that when you want to live?”

— Margaret Atwood / “I Invented Gilead. The Supreme Court Is Making It Real”

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married a sturgeon

Tantara Vibrissa (flarfish #50)

Fanfare / stiff hairs
this is my answer—
dog whiskers!
& where to find beers?

I was once in Baku—
found it familiar—
sat down on Mount Bazardüzü,
& heard the plash of the Caspian Sea.

I married a sturgeon.
Now I’m knee-deep in caviar—
& navel gazing
as the world burns.

So a fanfare for nose hairs!
Pass the libations—
Gabriel’s horn is on autoplay loop
& I ain’t listening no mo’.

What I’m Reading:

“I want to staple
myself to a passing cloud
so I am blameless for the war.”

— Victoria Chang / “How It Happens”

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the hot edge

Press play above to watch sadness & fury (:52)

sadness and fury

sadness and fury
and also, remarkably, hope
but it fades
oh it fades
in the haze
at the hot edge
of 1000 ppm
20 feet of water coming
best learn to swim
best learn to row
best to prep
yr rocket
to nowheres
now

What I’m listening to:

“So this is for when you feel happy
And this is for when you feel sad
And this is for when you feel
Nothing”

— Love and Rockets / “Haunted”

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under the influence

Press play to watch my short film EXOPHONY (:51)

Exophony

Under the influence of another tongue
Under the influence of a glass in shards
Under the influence of a perpetual pandemic
Under the influence of a second booster
Under the influence of crass appeal
Under the influence of social regression
Under the influence of climate change
Under the influence of a fata morgana
Follow the blinders

The blindness

The blind

What I’m Reading:

“During the pandemic
we are a forest—trees
standing alone together.”

— Dunya Mikhail / “Tablets VI”

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while you sleep

Creases

Sodden targets
In an era of rampant mental illness.
Loose lips sink shrinks.
What have you tested for?
The results remain the flame.
You’ve received a phone call
That says you are loathed.
A surveillance expert creases
Your papers while you sleep.
You’ve been living underground
For two breathless months
And you don’t know what that means.

What I’m Reading:

“I don’t recall asking to be conceived! Neither did my parents come to think of it. Even so. Score to be settled. Children are vengeance.”

—John Barth / “Autobiography: A Self-Recorded Fiction”

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please move on

Press play button above to watch my short film Hair Shirt (:40)

What I’m Reading:

“Let the fog’s calls
go to voicemail. Tell the fog
to eat shit, burn the fog’s letters.”

— Ruth Madievsky / “Fog”

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into the center

Phosphene Dream (redux)

He produced phosphenes that smelled of mandarin oranges — a strange synesthetic effect that followed the orange-rimmed yellow spots that exploded in his closed-eye vision.

He thought this was an improvement on the phosphenes of his youth that smelt of rotting meats and animal carcasses, and filled his nights with monstrous nightmares.

He finally felt like an adult. He thought he’d arrived at the happiest point of his life, but he felt his brand was in peril. Only the whip smartest YouTubers and TikTok’ers could make the scene, and his phosphenes were falling behind.

So he really pressed down hard on his eyes this time and they fell into the center of his head, down his sinuses, and mysteriously into his esophagus, and through his digestive tract.

His vision was something spectacular now — 12K Supreme! It was like a Haight Ashbury psychedelic oil light show at a Grateful Dead concert, c. 1966 — every time another enzyme, bile, or gastric acid washed over his eyes making their way through this world of gastrointestinal wonder — phosphenes like he’d never seen before exploded through his eyeless head — sending bright yellow sparks out of his vacant eyeholes.

Man, it blew him away.

And when the peristalsis finally evacuated his eyes into the depths of his own rectum— the time was now! Now he knew he’d be the supreme influencer to all mankind.

He tapped out a telegraph to his mother: “Success, Mother! I’m finally in my own rectum and about to be born again!”

What I’m Reading:

“It is too early to tell exactly how much harder the wind will blow, how much hotter the sun will shine. That is for the future. But their meaning has already changed.”

— William McKibben / The End of Nature

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your mystery date

Screen Saver Reverie

This is a diagram of dashed hopes. This is a crash-dash bifurcation of the cerebrum. There is a disconnect here. This is suggestive of terrible things to come. Proof positive of all the damage incurred. Wondering what’s behind the door that has Psychiatric stenciled on it. What’s behind the door that reads Private? Try to open your eyes. You cannot open them. You’re the meanest of all the dogs. You are a piece of stone. You are a statue. Now open the door. Are you ready for your mystery date? Mystery date.

What I’m Reading:

“Once I sat in the rain,
opened my mouth to the sky.
I yearned to be changed.
But each drop was a small knife.”

— Victoria Chang / “Far Along in the Story”

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in the mist

Ocean Sounds

She spoke to her AI speaker, “Play ocean sounds.” The speaker responded and complied.

She dreamt of a thin pixellated mist outside her window as the opening shot to her next film.

She placed her hand on her clavicle—fingertips finding soft purchase in the hollow just above the bone. The contact sent a hot fist-sized ball coursing through her nerves to the center of her brain where she felt a concussive shock which sent barbs out through to every nerve ending in her body.

“I don’t feel normal. I feel as if something is off,” she said to a formless shadow in the mist. “Without any raw footage I have nothing to edit. Where’s my Bolex?” She rolled her glasses up on her head, keeping the hair off of her face.

The shadow spoke: “I think you should reconsider what you consider an appropriate gift. The only riveting thing about you are the rivets in your underhanded glances.”

Squalls of psychobilly guitar cut the air. She did a pogo-twist as if she were on the stage at Max’s Kansas City.

The sound transfigured into a spray of arterial blood on her bedroom ceiling. The walls, the floor the mirror behind the bedroom door were covered in spatters. A small pool of congealed blood in the corner next to her hamper. Drag marks on the floor.

She woke gasping for air. The ocean sounded like cyclonic roil. She woke up twisted in her sheets, on her side, with her head perched off the edge of the bed.

She called in sick. She had to sleep again to recover from the way she slept. She swore off indica edible gummies. Never again.

What I’m Reading:

“How many bodies have you carried into your meditation?”

— Laura Wetherington & Hannah Ensor / “Feel Fragments”

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