cords spiraling skyward

Memorable Stuff I Read This Week

I think, first of all, we have a crisis of thinking or imagining when it comes to the future. Everyone talks about it. Everyone says that we need to start thinking about the future, and so on. But it never happens in the context of desire. The future is a necessity – something you’re being pushed into. Who wants that? 

— Maria Stepanova / “Eros replaced with Thanatos” / Equator


I start pulling my guts out,
those red silk cords
spiraling skyward,
and I’m climbing them
past the moon and the sun,
past darkness
into white.

— Ai / “Nothing But Color”


You wake up and brace yourself for the barrage of toxic gibberish that constitutes the modern public sphere. Your e-mail is overrun with spam, scams, and smut. There are voice mails from no one about nothing. A glance at the news reveals that the President is continuing to spew lies and obscenities; that a trillionaire is peddling white-supremacist propaganda on a social-media platform he owns; that a chart-topping musical artist is praising Hitler, or apologizing for praising Hitler, or praising Hitler once again. Publications from the Times on down employ clickbait headlines that treat you like a starving rat in a Pavlovian experiment. A.I. systems simulate the experience of talking to an arrogant ten-year-old boy who knows far less than he thinks he does. When pressed, the chatbots admit that they cannot “naturally understand human morality, dignity, culture, or meaning.” It all adds up to a continuous discursive tinnitus—a buzz of random, fake, stupid, sinister chatter that nobody wants and nobody can stop.

— Alex Ross / “Jürgen Habermas Defended Reason in a Darkening Age” / The New Yorker


We
came with photos and adrenaline, taped up boxes and giant
suitcases. America, to me, in 1979 was a pyrotechnic album
of bursting events, and relatives known only by nicknames
opened their mouths the way cats do to sense kin.

— José Felipe Alvergue / “trust”


“If artificial intelligence and automation begin to replace human labour at scale, the key economic question won’t be the speed at which jobs vanish — it will be who pays the bill,” argues complexity scientist Ljubica Nedelkoska. She suggests that governments must start looking beyond income tax and levy a surcharge on tech-driven windfalls instead. Or people could hold a direct stake in AI-generated profits through a sovereign wealth fund, rather than those gains accruing entirely to private shareholders.

— Flora Graham / “Tax robots, not people” / Nature Brief


A long time ago
I went on a journey,
Right to the corner
Of the Eastern Ocean.
The road there
Was long and winding,
And stormy waves
Barred my path.

— Tao Yuanming / “[A long time ago]”


You can only kill disappointment with a new try. 

— Kim Stanley Robinson / Shaman

What I’m Listening To:

But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is, brother, you have to wait

— The Beatles / “Revolution”

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memories ghosts tugging

I. The Maw

She spotted him kicking the St. Jude statue installed outside the Melkite Church on the corner. It was the same dirty and desultory man who approached her the day before. 

The sky was a swirl of hazy cross-oceanic Saharan dust again. The humidity clung to her exposed skin like a hot anole’s tongue.

She wanted nothing more than to avoid him and his rants above all else. She cut down a little used access road between the two luxury bayside buildings. When she stopped and turned to insure he hadn’t seen and followed her, she fell into an underworld through the loose manhole cover she stepped on—the world ascended out of her sight into an absolute darkness which welcomed her with a jolting fetid thud. All was black and remained in oblivion for a full minute.

The smell hit her first and then the warmth of the liquid she sat in—she dry heaved and gripped her stomach until she recovered, and only then she saw the faint bioluminescence seemingly arrayed in perfect geometric shapes along the curved walls. She realized she was in the sewer. 

Then she heard his voice echoing from above and beyond her line of sight—the high key dust light streaming in from the gaping maw she fell through.

In an instant his face and torso filled that vacant space, and his cackle echoed down to her and filled the dark in the sewer.

“Ah, missy,” he said. “Welcome to my town. Welcome to my home.” 

He jumped into the darkness with her.

***

II. The Tug of Ghosts

It seemed to her she was always leaving, or someone was leaving her. Her father disappeared one day when she was ten. Her mother disappeared into a fog of alcohol and mental illness the next year—and now it was her turn to leave her hometown for the last time.

She vowed to never return to the southern city or the moribund southern state. She’d had enough of the oppressive memories, ghosts tugging at her, and retrograde autocrats. She was off.

In the rear view she spotted the rag and bone man kicking the St. Jude statue again, a fitting sight in the high-key sunrise that limned the horizon line in golden-red and turquoise. The bay, a vacant dying sea, would soon flood the shoreline. 

“This will all be underwater soon,” the man screamed at her exhaust.

“Good riddance,” she said to the strains of the Butthole Surfers “Moving to Florida.”

“Bye-bye,” she hissed, turned the stereo up and drove north.

What I’m Reading:

Bad things don’t just grow on one path, they’re everywhere. So don’t blame yourself when those things happen. Don’t let yesterday take up much of today. 

— Kim Stanley Robinson / Shaman

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with angular intent

What are Fish Gills to Fishers of Men?

At a remove, in a gesture, a part of a thing
Representing the whole.

What are ambivalences of texts?
Polyvalencies in readings?

What flows from this desire
To macerate the pulp of life
Into a sodden discourse—
An echolalia?

The fishers of men as hirsute
Suitors unhinging Penelope’s loom—

What is that? An arrow?

I am arrow proof,
Soothsayer approved,
Trodden by legions of anonymous
Men with angular intent.

Note this now—

I pique in wolf-like rages
Deep into the night.
I aim at precision / incision—

Beware.

What I’m Reading:

I have not led a bad life but should I
like to do it better isn’t this what hell is for?
From a distance swaying with rake lifted. High
progress I give myself. Forgive me, myself.

— Jimin Seo / “In Memoriam [±That after all this I have still chosen life.]”

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apropos of nothing

Interlude (redux)

It is recorded in some musty tome that in 1456 Pope Callixtus III excommunicated the comet to end all comets.

A heathen astral rock glowing white-hot as it streaked across the sky. The stars are signifiers. The popes are pontificators…

This is an interlude apropos of nothing.

What I’m Reading:

my muse wears contact lenses,
  maybe she’ll never see
    past suburbia
      with its walled-in, half-acre privacy
        and she eats too much
          so her diaphragm is choking her
            voice and breath

— Charlie Vermont / “Poem”

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on the ceiling

Life After

She woke up dumber in the new southern town than she had been in her northern home. The intellectual disparity over those few sleepless days was astounding, many folks would later say:

How could someone become so stupid in six short days?

Six days filled with the lurking of one imaginary great white shark that followed her around the world. The hallucinatory sequence ended in clear tropical waters. Even though she had no son, she ran out from the safety of the white sand beach to save him — into the clear, luminous, water (a water whose color was so entrancing it had no name, merely a color code number: #22BED9 — on that code everyone could agree).  

In she went after the son she didn’t have only to find herself at the bottom of an enormous darkening aquarium filled with rock outcroppings, and many great white sharks lying inert on the sand. All of them waiting for the monstrous shark that appeared from the left and swam between her and the shore — now inexplicably a half mile away.

She awoke when she heard a voice lamenting the late hour: 5:45 in the god-damned  morning! Then something about bagels… and crowds. But the voice belonged to her father—now dead five years, so this could not be.

She felt unalterably stupid — imbecilic — like the Stooge that couldn’t even make it past the first cattle call of tryouts for the “Curly Joe” spot that needed filling sometime in the late 1950’s.

My goodness, I’m a fucking dolt! She said to the popcorn on the ceiling.

She picked up her phone, went into the bathroom and composed this note while sitting on the cold toilet:

Happy so and so… madness so and so… I’ve drawn and quartered the last day of my old life. First, I set it in stocks and forced it to reflect on its insistence on the passage of time. I denounced it as a heretic and forced it to abjure from the heights of the glorious strappado. I singed it a bit on the pyre. I rolled it on the rack. I pilloried it, used the cudgel, prodded its eyes with a red hissing poker, beat it with the bastinado, used the Spanish boot, and finally pulled and impaled its tongue until nothing remained if it.

This will be my annus mirabilis (she had no idea what this meant anymore, but she wrote it automatically): the one by which I’ll measure the rest of my life. The pivot point. There is my life before today, and my life after — this should mean something to me.

***

People, die everyday… There is gothic organ music swelling and ebbing in the ether. There is someone muttering bummer in the next room.  The smell of acrid pot is wafting in on a warm eddy of air blowing under the hotel room door. There are ochres and yellows on the walls and an overall orange mood to the room. Next door someone is repeating: people, die everyday, die everyday… There is something important here, but I can’t decipher it — not yet — but I will.

It’s comfortably warm now and a woman is moving about, beyond my line of sight, by the bed, with pleasant food on a white tray. I sense it but I can’t see her. This is an inviting place, I feel comfortable here. But I don’t understand why it’s a bummer and why someone continues to repeat: people, die everyday, die everyday…

What I’m Reading:

An insane impatience for death was driving mankind to a second suicide, even before the full effect of the first had been felt.

— Anna Kavan / Ice

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tooth and mettle

Wait. Weight.

The southern city was full of all manner of curvilinear impediments and drop-offs. It led to a vertiginous sensation she abhorred—it seemed as if the angry sky and sea wished to become one turbid space. She saw cloud arms descending from a fanged sky—the world was tooth and mettle and the kidney bingo would not wait. She heard the northern city beckoning her back—and she just arrived—but it would have to wait. Wait. Weight.

What I’m Reading:

Slow any song
and sorrow blooms

like blood
through a bandage.

Slow sorrow
and it darkens like dusk-

stained windows.

— Phillip Watts Brown / “If You Play “Jolene” at 33 RPM”

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reports of war

Fox in a Cul-de-Sac

Fade in:

Fusty living room. Crepuscular light. 

Loud swelling radio chatter, multiple frequencies: reports of war, a horse race, cricket scores, market updates, easy listening music, someone reciting maths. 

A woman affecting classical statue poses. A man sitting on an easy chair reading a newspaper.

W: What did the news have to say today, dear?

M: There were poems received from cyberspace. They popped up for two seconds and were cantilevered out of sight to another spot for later reckoning.

W: What? What are you on about, dear?

M: The poems came at the seating of the regent… underneath her rococo underpants… there was gaseous effluvia…

W: Are you ok, dear? Are you not feeling yourself?

M: Oh, the court was stoic while the noxious twankery spread through the room. But who was keeping count, the farceurs? They were arrivistes!

W: My goodness you’re running a fever.

M: Leave me be! Where was the Count? Oh yeah, mounted on the lady in waiting.

W: My god! What are you on about?

M: Oh, yes! Wading in the darkness behind the draperies! How to gruntle her highness — with her head in a sling — when like a fox in a cul de sac she’s hounded — penned in like a boar between arches — to the end of the line she dons her monocle without that paterfamilias aplomb! She croons! She croons a Bing Crosby scat-a-tat bo-see-do.

W: Nevil! Sit down! Put that back—

M: Oh, do make some sense?! You flatten my patience with that utter garble of yarbol warbles. Please, please, please let me get what I want

W: What on earth do you want? Sit down, and put that back in your drawers!

M: Some sense from you! A semblance of balance — a discernible emprise! Don’t be a silly wicket, spewing snubberdigibblets of nonsense and frou frou foo!

W: Nevil! Pants back on!

M: Don’t be a slugabed, you say! Oh, don’t be a sluggard… Or! You’re a braggart all drugged up with words… well, I’m free to walk about without pants, without fear of brigandage and without your loquacious bagpipes of babble!

W: Stop.

M: Won’t stop.

W: No, stop.

M: I won’t.

W: Well. Don’t.

Fade out.

What I’m Reading:

My hair loses its atoms.

My body glows

in the dark.

Planets are smashed

into oblivion,

stripped of their power

to name things.

— Joshua Jennifer Espinoza / “This Is What Makes Us Worlds”

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of deranged hope

Memorable Stuff I Read This Week

The whole world was turning towards death.

— Anna Kavan / Ice


I moved through rooms without arriving.
I lived like a light you forget to turn off.

The cream soured.
And I was elsewhere
long before I knew it

— Eva Candelaria Sosa / “Afterwards”


The world’s oceans are under “severe and accelerating” pressure from human activities, with the rate of sea-level rise double that of a decade ago, according to a damning assessment from the United Nations.

The “intensifying” stressors, which include pollution and large-scale industrial fishing, are cumulative, said the report, resulting in widespread biodiversity loss and putting ocean systems under “severe strain”.

— Karen McVeigh / “‘Severe’ stress on oceans as rate of sea level rise doubles in 10 years, UN warns” / The Guardian


To be saved by ideas: a fantasy I harbored.
In those days, there was always something
from which I needed saving. The past, its
expansive grammar, the way my grief was
a kind of deranged hope. I wanted a different
country, an old language to burst forth like
a hidden river.

— Billy-Ray Belcourt / “Bildungssonnet”


Permafrost, or frozen soil, covers some 15 percent of land in the Northern Hemisphere, and thanks to human-driven climate change, it is fueling a vicious warming feedback loop. As rising global temperatures melt the frozen soil, it releases stored carbon into the atmosphere, enhancing warming. Scientists have debated for years how fast this could happen and how much carbon the world’s permafrost might expel, but according to a new study, the situation might be far worse than past estimates suggest. . . In the new study, researchers estimate that that tipping point could happen by 2100—earlier than previous models suggest.

— Jackie Flynn Mogensen / “Earth’s permafrost could soon release hidden ‘deep carbon,’ supercharging warming” / Scientific American


. . . I’ll never get out of this world alive.
That was Hank Williams⁠—a bunch of molecules.
I hold my tongue, look across the moon and blink.
You never wrote so you didn’t know
a little colored ball of wool was my heart.

— Larry Fagin / “Self-pity (East River)”


I was oppressed by the sense of universal strangeness, by the chill of approaching catastrophe, the menace of ruins suspended above; and also by the enormity of what had been done, the weight of collective guilt. A frightful crime had been committed, against nature, against the universe, against life. By rejecting life, man had destroyed the immemorial order, destroyed the world; now everything was about to crash down in ruins.

— Anna Kavan / Ice

What I’m Listening To: 

Sometimes I think my skull’s just chicken wire

Carrying a thought like contraband

I land like an alien

But Shelley says, still, you’ve got to live with people

— Shearwater / “Slugs in the Marigolds”

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oceans and deserts

Lithiumga(u)ze (redux)

What is this? I’m dizzy and there seems to be a slight scrim like muslingauze between me and everything else. Look at the sun—it’s like the fog of lithium … a weariness settles over me… my outlook is decidedly more pessimistic and I need to catch up on my sleep in order to remain anywhere near some sort of balance.

She says:
who i b today?
who i b?

The spin keeps rolling in.
Yes, frightful really, the oceans and deserts appearing in the same place.

What I’m Reading:

The ultimate achievement of mankind would be, not just self-destruction, but the destruction of all life; the transformation of the living world into a dead planet. 

— Anna Kavan / Ice

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on finite time

Burning Landscapes

The shallow coast has migrated to higher elevations
We live in the time of burning landscapes
Rainforests to savannas in two easy days
The grand ice shelves in five easy pieces
We’re on finite time and nothing unspools
Like priorities heavily influenced by neglect
You speak in deeper tones when you’re shallow
It’s a conscious choice to avoid detection
Like providing soft beds for corpses

What I’m Reading:

Everyone is dead, has been dead
for a long time, we are merely their
words trying to find a place to hide.

— Greg Kuzma / “Everyone”

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