wandering little drift

The Best Stuff I Read This Week

“Then at some point there was something called the internet of things, a phrase I never really understood, but anyway I am now all about the internet of the senses, which can’t be monetized or hacked, limited bandwidth maybe but the privacy controls are outstanding.”

— Jonathan Dee / Sugar Street


“We will all be forgotten. This does not frighten me. What I do fear day to day is who am I forgetting.”

— Terry Tempest Williams / Erosion


“In the big factory of perfecting human souls, the Earth was a kind of tumbler. The same as the kind people use to polish rocks. All souls come here to rub the sharp edges off each other. All of us, we’re meant to be worn smooth by conflict and pain of every kind. To be polished. There was nothing bad about this. This wasn’t suffering, it was erosion.”

— Chuck Palahniuk / Haunted


“to live / now is to speak / the
language of the tree / toppled
along the expressway / at night”

— Urayoán Noel / “cinquains written during a tropical storm”


“I do not think I really have anything to say about poetry other than remarking that it is a wandering little drift of unidentified sound, and trying to say more reminds me of following the sound of a thrush into the woods on a summer’s eve—if you persist in following the thrush it will only recede deeper and deeper into the woods; you will never actually see the thrush (the hermit thrush is especially shy), but I suppose listening is a kind of knowledge, or as close as one can come. ‘Fret not after knowledge, I have none,’ is what the thrush says. Perhaps we can use our knowledge to preserve a bit of space where his lack of knowledge can survive.”

— Mary Ruefle / Madness, Rack, and Honey


“We were in love
or in some other thing love served
as cover for. It required constant testing,
trying to humiliate while seeming
innocent, uninvested.”

— Margaret Ross / “Macho”


“Afterward, in my underwear, I would sleep in the position that put me farthest from everywhere I came from.”

— Garielle Lutz / “Rims”

What I’m Listening To:

“Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9
Number 9
… financial imbalance
Thrusting it between his shoulder blades
The Watusi, the Twist
El Dorado
Take this, brother
May it serve you well
..maybe even then…
If you become naked…”

— The Beatles / “Revolution 9”

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

like lithium fog

like

like lithium fog
like muslin gauze
like truce & warfare
like a weariness that settles
like wondering & wandering
like the ever-lengthening line
like the slight scrim between u & the world

like a poem that ends here.

What I’m Reading:

“you are the cow that gives birth
to an unutterable fantasy
you are the jelly
& you are the come blanket”

— Harris Schiff / “Pure Poison”

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

but i digress

pero divago

es un automatismo franco
y elevado

nada que ver con el generalísimo
pero en general

es el género de nuestros eneros
nublados & nevlados

entre nuestras gestiones congeladas
& fracasos helados

te quiero decir
te quiero

pero divago
distraído

en la catedral
del cuy empalado

antes del plato fuerte
de nuestra ultima cena

image: last supper, marcos zapata, 1753 (cusco cathedral) / wikipedia, in public domain.

but i digress

it’s a frank & elevated
automatism

in general but nothing to do
with the generalissimo

it’s the genre of our clouded
& snowy januaries

between our frozen gestures
& icy failures

i want to say
i want to say i love you

but i digress
distracted

in the cathedral
of the impaled guinea pig

before the main course
of our last supper

What I’m Reading:

I don’t trust the human beast … and I don’t like crowds. I drink my beer, hit the typer and wait.”

— Charles Bukowski / On Writing

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

nothing would be

Aeonian or Aeolian?

She mistook her aeonian harp for her aeolian harp. She mistook her bemusement for amusement. Her confoundment for profoundment and her conclusion for inclusion. Nothing seemed to be what it needed to be and her mind kept elapsing and prolapsing into a crater like protrusion into the black hole nimbus that was her brain. From now on nothing would be what it should or sound like its meaning; rather things would be tinged in a greenish patina and sound like rods and cones and retinal shrieks of retinues with concubine purrs. Nothing like what she was accustomed to. She would have to reeducate herself in the ways of wares and the forms of norms. Much would be ochre now, because there was no sense in being saffron about it. At least that’s what the older boys meant, or what she thought they meant, when they claimed she was immature. Now was the time for ripening. The moment was upon her. Now is the only thing that’s real. And sassafras be damned!

What I’m Reading:

“I like the feeling of words doing as they want to do and as they have to do when they live where they have to live that is where they have come to live which of course they do do.”

— Gertrude Stein / Gertrude Stein: Selections

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

your mind fastens

in the unlikely event

there is something louder than your heart
it supersedes the asperity of your bones

a wind forced through an aperture moans
it sounds like a death rattle, an agonal breath

this which your mind fastens upon
will always remain impermanent
even the sun is a transient thing
it will engulf half its own planets
in 5 billion years
what is your worry now?

there is something stranger than knowledge
there is ritual and belief

a dry voice remains a dry voice
a hollow head remains a hollow head

this matters not
find solace where you can get it

What I’m Reading:

“I sang the way I still talk.

Every song was the worst way I could think of to ask for what I did not yet know how not to want.”

— Garielle Lutz / “Their Sizes Run Differently”

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

governing and teaching

governing body : cuerpo directivo

he cries little bits of her heart
at a pivotal point in a pair
of boxes full of higher figures
where all thoughts of airsickness
rockets up the throat

infundia : infused
sollozaba : sobbed
truhán : rogue
aborrecido : abhorred
sayete : a short frock or skirt

say what you mean to say—

say: the first time my mom
checked my hymen
was when I was 13 years old
this accomplished nothing
but creating fear and doubt

this : esto
abhorred : aborrecido
scratched : rasguñada
i’m angry : estoy enojada

cuerpo directivo y docente : governing and teaching body

What I’m Reading:

“From time to time I show up in myself just long enough for people to know they are not in the room alone. Usually, these are people who expect something from me a near future, a not-too-distant future … Everything I say is to the best of my knowledge and next to nothing. It comes nowhere close.”

— Garielle Lutz / “Devotions”

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

you you will

Horizon Lines

You ain’t seeing what I’m seeing on the horizon of this new year.

I ain’t saying what I’m seeing on the horizon of the new year.

I ain’t writing about what I’m seeing on the horizon of the new year.

I ain’t skewing the horizon line of the new year.

I ain’t setting to skew the horizon line of the new year.

But eventually I’ll tell you, and then I’ll write about it, and then you… you will… you will skew the horizon line of the new year.

Horizons are meant to be horizontal as long as you look at the horizon in a particular way.

I ain’t looking at it in that particular way.

What I’m Reading:

“Why is it we speak of unreliable narrators, but not of unreliable readers? A reader freely judges the author, but the author is not allowed to judge the reader. Except, of course, in the Bible.”

— Mary Ruefle / “A Half-Sketched Head”

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

little free libraries

The Best Stuff I Read This Week

“I couldn’t stand being seen as data: everything I did or said, everywhere I went, usable, profitable, predictive data. That invisible record, it accumulates, and you drag it around with you even though you can’t see or feel it. I couldn’t stand the idea that every little choice I’d made, however thoughtless or dumb, was now part of my history.”

— Jonathan Dee / Sugar Street


“she’s been places
in her small world
big butter for their
american dreams”

—Nikki Wallschlaeger / “Cows in the Evening”


“So the poetry community was able to thrive even in isolation, and that was really beautiful to me. Poetry became a kind of anchor for people who were feeling completely alone and distraught, and full of anxiety and fear. But as we move forward to more public and social settings, I think it’s important to recognize that poetry will be one way to tell each other about what we’ve been through.”

— Ada Limón / “Q&A: U.S. Poet Laureate Ada Limón” / Poets & Writers


“When my mother was dying of breast cancer, a priest came by to tell her that the pain she was experiencing was equivalent to Christ’s on the cross. But Jesus Christ had no breasts. 36 degrees.

There’s a lot of sadomasochism inherent in the Catholic Church, witness St. Sebastian or the cannibalism of transubstantiation.”

— Bernadette Mayer / “April 18”


“Owners never want to see their hardback babies pulped. Bibliocide seems particularly painful in this fraught era of banned books. Hence, the sprouting of Little Free Libraries everywhere, and donations to public ones for resale, which enable staff to purchase new books.”

— Karen Heller / “We’re drowning in old books. But getting rid of them is heartbreaking” / The Washington Post


“Politically, I guess you could say that I’m a progressive. I firmly believe that everything in and about human society is progressing toward its end.”

— Jonathan Dee / Sugar Street


“Sometimes I just sit like this at the window and watch
the darkness come. If I’m smart, I’ll put on Bach.

I’m thinking now of how far it always seems there is to go.”

— Jim Moore / “The Need Is So Great”

What I’m Listening To:

“Away, you swagpot!
Lick the floor, you dog!
Squeak out your dying wish, you pig!”

— György Ligeti & Michael Meschke / from Le Grand Macabre

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

a constant cavil

Goodbye 2022

Caustics & Acrostics

For $20 someone phones me and spits insults, in Cuban-inflected Spanish, through my earpiece. I also invest in seed packs for vanity, narcissus, and temerity. My fingers are refracted in the water backing up in the sink. A clog formed at the center of my soul. I’m unable to plunge it or dissolve it with caustics. The acoustics of these apartments are poor, the walls porous and sound travels easily through the heat ducts and vents. This is abrasion by the light of the full moon on the television downstairs; the Ligeti anti-aria from Le Grand Macabre tamping down from the stereo upstairs; and the constant woohooing by the spectrum kid next door; the neighbor across the hall has the scents of camphor and chicken soup, and Dave Brubeck wafting down the hall; and the elevator squalls Floor 16 too loud. The clog in my soul is not dispatched with celerity. It’s not dispatched at all. The hole in my head is a constant cavil. Then, I missed the alignment of the planets last night. So I pay to have someone call me a comemierda. I eagerly and promptly answer the phone each night at 8:31.

Hello 2023

What I’m Reading:

“Stick to what you believe in because you’ll be just as wrong as everyone else.”

— Arnold Roth / The Creative Independent interview

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

clock at 11:59

Keeper of The Doomsday Clock (redux)

I am the keeper of the Doomsday Clock. I know what will happen to us. I know how the world ends, but I don’t tell you. I’ll keep you in the dark. I stopped the hands on the Doomsday Clock at 11:59. When we met I thought I would turn back the hands on the clock, that I might set the pendulum in reverse. But you said our fate was sealed and it was fatal. I was drawn to that. I was afflicted. I set the works in motion once more, the cogs thunder. I have chosen this minute.

What I’m Reading:

“The idea that humanity can somehow triumph over what’s most awful about itself is narcissism. We’re the poison, we’re the virus, we’re the fire, and the only way to stop it is to let it run its course.”

— Jonathan Dee / Sugar Street

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment