Dear Residents,

Due to recent kitchen sink backups, this is a gentle reminder of what cannot go down the garbage disposal:

1. coffin grinds
2. rickshaws
3. paste
4. egos
5. ejaculates
6. election ballots
7. breakthroughs
8. fluff
9. suggestions
10. any fool that expands in water

Thank you for your cooperation and please contact the Management Office with ointment for any quintuplets.

What I’m Reading:

“This is not planet Earth as we found it. This is a new place — a fire planet we have made, with an atmosphere more conducive to combustion than at any time in the past 3 million years.”

— John Vaillant / Fire Weather: A True Story from a Hotter World