Wanted

Floral bottleneck jacket-wearing flâneur for contortionist runway shows needed. If you are 7’2” tall and weigh precisely 147 lbs., please apply at the council bacterium’s office. If you know the choreography to the “backwater cough” and the “continental armadillo,” and are fluent in borehole pidgin you will receive priority consideration. Must possess a contempt argumentation voguing license class 2, and a sack-toned twirl certification. Ability to work in knee-high inertia a must. Please bring copies of dour-faced ornamentations and most recent phrenology chart to the interview. Only serious and sacrament-botched candidates need apply. Top pay!

What I’m Reading:

“Even their sneezes sound like Ravel’s Bolero.
Even the candlewax dropped on their smocks
makes ornamental masterpieces of their sleeves.”

— Claudine Toutoungi / “Martyrs”