Two Views of December 11

1. Today

Nothing says “thank you for cooking breakfast” like not saying “thank you,” and walking away like you expected it all along; and then not even offering to help with the washing of the dishes. “You bet. You’re welcome.” It’s great to be alive during the waning days of civilization as we knew it — the signs of the apocalypse are stark and plentiful.

2. 2006

The last time I saw my father he asked me half a dozen times who I was; he told me he used to catch fly balls from a priest that used his closed, upturned fist as a fungo bat during practice; and then he asked me to cut our scenic drive short and take him back to the assisted living facility because he had to take a serious shit.

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”

— Chuck Palahniuk / Invisible Monsters