make sense yet…

what i see

“Always in your stomach and in your skin there was a sort of protest, a feeling that you had been cheated of something that you had a right to.”

— George Orwell / 1984

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germinating a fear…

lacunae and interstices

debilitating as 1-2-3… awful as awful can be, and slightly elevated but apocryphal

after the apocalypse we walked on the littered shore of lacuna beach

no word from paramaribo pam, but a fine bread crumb trail of… well, bread crumbs

trailed off into the wreckage of a civilization unhinged and unleavened

she was germinating a fear of wheat, though one couldn’t really call her glutenous… yet

she once said: a night in suriname is equal to two weeks in french guiana

i understood nothing, but the smell of decaying sargassum was intoxicating

she was spotted at the fringe of the jungle at the interstice between life and death

made dyspeptic by the cold medications she attempted to o.d. on

but the bardo was not “taking” and her ass was festooned with deer ticks

“Have a belief in yourself that is bigger than anyone’s disbelief.”

— August Wilson

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sneaked up…

while they’re asleep



“Love what you do and do what you love. Don’t listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it.”

— Ray Bradbury

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birdie num nums…

Just Chew

“UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It’s not.”

— Dr. Seuss / The Lorax

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this way’s coming…

Corona

Cantering and rolling, rolling,
Sancho got them happy feet —
A crown makes three by the mango tree.

Riot of pink and red hibiscus —
Frippery festoons his flanks —
Sancho down one, Sancho up two.

Writhing with the unnamable —
Waiting for the ineffable —
Sancho, scythe this way’s coming…

It’s the season of the felling —
Looka that corona, Sancho,
Blistering ’round the blackening sun.

“MAY: Everyone’s equal.

JUNE: There’s always someone on top, someone at the bottom.

MAY: You don’t believe none of it?

JINE: Never did. Do what you have to do. I ain’t stupid, stuffed my pockets full of gold, I did…”

— Sarah Grochala / S-27

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a walking husk…

Sleep of Treason

I yanked myself out of REM sleep yesterday morning, and was a walking husk the rest of the day…

I’d been dreaming I was in a SmartCar jammed with five other people. We were driving through a jungle swampland when I noticed a large inflatable dayglo green snake that seemed staged around tree limbs in the canopy above.

On another giant cypress tree there’s a 20 foot long orange-yellow banded crocodile with a snake body, ambulating on tiny cartoon legs, making its way down to the passenger side windows. It opens its maw revealing a toothless interior. The sharp tang of fear is redolent in the tiny car. We are all frozen.

Then in a small house filled with the same people from the SmartCar, there is a back slapping agreement and a tap on the belly of someone in cahoots that someone in the party needs to be educated about racist terms. A tacit agreement to tell him to stop calling people that.

Someone turns the lights out, because it’s imperative that we hide, but a spotlight is shining in from darkened jungle revealing where I’m standing in the room. I can’t see through the dark windows, and I’m unable to move far enough away out of the spot light. Im unable to conceal myself. I don’t want to be taken.

I will myself to wake up and move, but I can’t break through the layers of unconsciousness even though I’m aware this is a dream. I violently try to shake off the cloaks of sleep.

I awoke to early morning light streaming in through the blinds. The bed empty.

“O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a
king of infinite space — were it not that I have bad dreams.”

— William Shakespeare / Hamlet

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keep it ready…

Gotta, Gonna

I’ll shake your hand like it’s 2019.

You say you’re still living like it’s the morning of November 1, 2016.

And you say:

Don’t be a chop-socky soap jockey and don’t be a hegemonic purveyor of racist tropes and insult troopers. Wha’s wrong with you, man?

Get choppin’ or clod hoppin’ like a supa hero of righteousness. Go stomp on the populist purveyors of trash talk and totalitarian pumpkin head enablers.

Can’t be quiescent, man. Can’t be that — of all things.

Gotta pick up an idea, gotta spark a ‘tude, gotta spark a fire, gotta pick up a rock. Gotta get so pissed. Then you gotta think. Put the rock in your pocket. Keep it ready.

Gotta register to vote (if u ain’t).

Gotta vote (if u r).

And gotta get ready to take out the rock again, and gotta get righteously pissed again, gotta find the matches, gotta clench the fists again…

… gotta be set if the fuckers gonna mess with the system that want to throw them up and out.

Gonna give them the benefit, one last time — that they walk away — when we shit them out like they deserve.

But keep that arm cocked and fists ready if they try the hoodwink!

“Trump’s racism—and that of his allies and enablers—has been too blatant for Americans to ignore or deny. And just as the 1850s paved the way for the revolution against slavery, Trump’s presidency has paved the way for a revolution against racism.”

— Ibram X. Kendi / “The End of Denial”

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a visual fomite…

And She Said…

I don’t want my pictures ending up in a thrift store or antique shop — to have someone at some future time use my image as the cornerstone for an artwork or craft project. I don’t want someone posting my pic up on the internets and writing a story like this. I don’t want someone using my image as a public domain appropriation into a mass retail “jokey” birthday card for sale at fine card shops or big box discount stores. I don’t wish to be made part of someone’s pastiche documentary art film. I do not wish to be trafficked posthumously like a copper penny slathered in virus. I don’t want to be a visual fomite — infecting someone’s nightmares. I don’t want to be sold so cheaply. I want my soul to rest, after it was partially diminished and stolen by this photograph. Just leave my image and my soul alone.

“Inspiration
is the deadliest radiation.
It never completely leaves the bones.”

— Keith S. Wilson / “Heliocentric”

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love me a peasant man…

Fifteen Bashings

You want Sasquatch to watch…

I’m dysphoric and elipsis-phobic

Dreaming of the drama at the diorama atop Lookout Mountain — shit no!

Trip your mama by the squelcher and palaver at the knees of Booth Tarkington and the stuff of effetism and the unruliness of the tentacles of love.

I love me a peasant man on a small quay in Santorini smacking a freshly caught octopus into the nearby rocks to soften it up — it’s been dead a while. Just how did he kill it?

Some other way than this brutal bashing?

This death of 15 bashings into the primordial Agean rocks is not a pretty way to go.

What’s a pretty way to go?
Shot to death in the future head?
Don’t know.

“Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens.”

— Ray Bradbury

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blood bruises and blisters…

Yaw and Jam

To yaw and jam…
Your paradiddles and ratamacues are killing me

Don’t be here for me:
Sugar Sugar and John Barley Corn Must Die
Seriously?

In susurrations and cackles
In blood bruises and blisters

Blister in the Sun 
What fun

What the fuck is wrong with you?
With your gasping for air 

And your Exorcist tongue flickers
Stop it. 
Seriously?

This is the land of burnt popcorn
And Dr. Pepper droughts… there’s a paucity, man

Because…

… because america…

(and i ain’t talking no tin man or sister golden hair) 
surprise! 
no free is wind blowing on this highway

just strange fruit swingin’ 
in the land of of the free — to kick yer’ ass 
and the home — to pilfer ur loot…

kick out the jams (and yaw) mother———

“But what’s needed in this moment
is unmixed confession
of our nation’s sin,
deep and indefensible.”

— Nikki Grimes / “You Still Dream”

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