We Ask … of Divination

Dear Residents,

We ask of divination no deviation from devotion to the caw and cedilla.

We ask that you please use cedar chips while entering the garage as the bullfight ring and kitty litter obscure a particular type of idiocy.

We ask that you use caution in ideation as our snowflake rendezvous is plying a new behavioral therapy.

We ask that call and response be done hourly at :23 past the hour, and limit itself to topics of salt and filibuster idiosyncrasies.

We ask that you dilate your pupils before driving your cars out of the garage, and that you relinquish all pertinent identikits of suspect snowpersons.

We ask that if there are any changes concerning the occupancy of your home that you please contact the nearest template manager for the appropriate boilerplate druid for inclusion into the Domesday Pay-Off Traid Plus. (Refer to codicil 11.1a. for any exclusions)

We ask that if you marinate your meats after 4pm, that you please prepare an appropriate sofrito according to Cuban standards.

We ask for exultation’s sake that cotton balls double as snowflakes and “huzzahs” be produced from deep in the gizzard. (Some restrictions apply if you are of non-avian extraction)

We ask that you excuse our caveats as we bulldoze your tenancy, and your petty concerns about glacier calving. We prefer our icebergs Rhode Island-sized and thick.

We ask our clumsy cèilidh be excused. We are all left feet and chicken-toed, bow-legged and jocularly unfunny.

We ask that you snuggle an elected idler as they shovel the excess snow which will one day be mere coolish water. They’ll need buckets then.

We ask that you pardon our glower. We’se mad as hell.

We ask you have a nice day. Ok?

Thank you,

The Manglement

What I’m Reading:

“so
we are
made
made
in pain to pose
and shimmer”

— Jennifer Sperry Steinorth / Her Read: A Graphic Poem