repetition compulsion

i have to
its a compulsion of sorts

im not alive
usually deeply depressed
when im not doing it

see said compulsion above
when i realize some days later
im not doing it anymore
ive stopped

stopping
when for some
ineffable reason
i stop

i want to stop
at the end
of the page

What I’m Reading:

“Even as a young writer, I never said, ‘I want to reach a large audience. I want to be famous.’ It was more like ‘I want to do something as good as Beckett.’ I would have high ambition, but it was not for fame and glory. I don’t think you can chase after that…”

— Lydia Davis / “Why Lydia Davis Loves Misunderstandings” / New Yorker