Making the World Safe for Capitalism

You play me “The Internationale” and I’ll stand and sing?

Sing what?

Sing the anthem?

Huh … wha … anthem?

Yes, it’s an anthem. I’ll stand and sing. You just play it.

I don’t know how to play it.

What’s that guitar good for if you can’t play “The Internationale?”

I can play Blind Lemon Jefferson and Geeshie Wiley.

You fool! Well, do you know “The Song of the Rebels?”

No, but I know the entire Butthole Surfers catalog from 1983 to 1990 — Gibby’s golden age!

You swine!

Wait, here’s “The Revenge of Anus Presley.” Ah one … ah two … ah—

Stop!

“After all there are no innocent bystanders … The worst sin of man is to be born.”

— William S. Burroughs / “The Coming of the Purple Better One”