Saturn Dreams of Eating His Children

Lucretia — 

Why did patience abandon me?  Why are you a glom on my psyche?  What can I do to rid myself of you and the children?  I never wanted children.  I caved to you and your “maternal desires.”  You never supplied me a good reason to have children other that you had “always wanted children.”  To what end, goddamnit?  You aren’t that engaged with what they do.  You either smother them or mistreat them. I won’t tolerate the beatings, psychological humiliations, and games dependent on your mood.  And as I can’t stand them what are we to do with a six, and four year-old, how did I end up here?  So I’m leaving.  I can’t stand you anymore, above all. I never wanted these kids — nor can I stand them.  I will contact you again when I’m established elsewhere — I don’t know where that is now, but I’m leaving you $130,000 in the bank. I’ve signed the deed over to you — sell the house if you wish.  I’m leaving you the car.  I paid off the note with a part of the $26,000 I withdrew from the account.  I’m starting over with a meager $20K and will provide my half for the kids when I’m set up elsewhere.  I’m done — done with you and the kids I never wanted. If I don’t do this now I fear what I’m capable of doing.

I only dream of Saturn eating his children…

Goodbye —

Thaddeus

Peter Paul Rubens, 1636. Public Domain.

Francisco Goya, c.1819-1823. Public domain.

“Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.”
— Kurt Vonnegut